According to the Office of National Statistics, in the year ending March 2018, an estimated 2.0 million adults aged 16 to 59 years experienced domestic abuse in the last year.
For more information and how to find help please access the links below. Don't become another number...
National Domestic Violence Helpline - 0808 2000 247
Open 24 hours a day. It is run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge.
Please call 999 in an emergency
Anyone can call the helpline: Women and children experiencing or who have experienced domestic abuse, professionals, or friends and family members who are worried about someone else.
Your call will be answered by fully trained female helpline support workers and volunteers. The helpline workers are skilled in listening and do not judge.
The helpline workers will never tell you what to do but instead will explore your options with you.
Everything you say will be confidential.
All calls to the helpline are free from mobiles and landlines.
Be sure that you are safe when you call the helpline. This means that the perpetrator of the abuse is not in the same property as you (even if they are in another room, the garden or asleep).
Are you in an abusive relationship?
Questions to help you discover if you are experiencing domestic abuse:
Are you afraid of your partner?
Do you feel isolated, bullied or belittled?
Does your partner cut you off from friends or family?
Does your partner verbally abuse you?
Does your partner physically hurt you?
Do you feel as if you are walking on eggshells?
Do you change your behavior to avoid triggering an accident?
Does your partner control the money?
Does your partner force you to have sex or make unreasonable demands?
Does your partner accuse you of being unfaithful?
Does your partner say you are useless and couldn’t cope without them?
Does your partner have sudden changes of mood which dominate the house?
Is your partner charming one minute and abusive the next?
Are you afraid of making your own decisions?
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions you may be experiencing domestic abuse.
Please talk to someone you trust about it, a friend, your health visitor, your GP or your local Domestic Abuse Helpline. It is important for you to know:
People will believe you
You are not alone
It is not your fault
You have the right to feel safe and live free of abuse
Know somebody in an abusive relationship?
The nature of domestic abuse often means that abuse happens in secret and may escalate over time. If possible try to support them to seek help early before the risk of harm increases for them and any children.
You may have identified the abuse before the person has. Therefore, it is important to gently help them to recognise it. But this may take some time, the person may minimise or take responsibility for the abuse
Allow them to go at their pace, do not push them to make changes/decisions they are not ready for
Reassure them that they are not to blame for the abuse
Listen, and keep listening
Remain non-judgemental and do not criticise their partner
Do not advise them to leave, as this may increase the danger
Once they have recognised the abuse encourage them to see specialist help and support
I haven’t been hit - can I still go to the police?
Yes. Domestic abuse is not just physical - there is often a pattern of controlling, coercive behaviour too. There is now new legislation under the amended serious crime act 2-15 that allows police and criminal justice to prosecute perpetrators with an offence of coercive control, where there has been a pattern of behaviour that has had a significant impact on another person. This may be due to financial abuse, isolating them from sources of support, or a continuing to act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten.
Abuse can take an umber of forms and if you are not comfortable to call the police then consider calling one of the many victim helpline services across the UK who are experts in abuse and may be able to advise and guide.
I have a new partner and I want to know if he has abused in the past. Can I find out?
Clare’s law or the domestic violence disclosure scheme is a useful tool. A request can be made to the police under the heading of ‘right to know’ or ‘right to ask’ where a person has concerns that a person is entering into, or has formed a relationship with a person they believe to be a domestic perpetrator. Right to know will generally come from the police or partner agencies who may have access to intelligence or information and the right to ask will generally come from the victim or someone close to them, such as family or friend, acting in their best interest. Police will consider the application and decide whether it is proportionate to disclose information to the victim so that they can then make an informed decision about how to protect themselves and their children if they have any.
My partner forced me to have sex but we are married - is that domestic abuse?
Forcing someone to have sex is rape, whether you are married or not. Legally, a person under the age of 16 years old cannot give consent and if a person is under the influence of drugs, alcohol or has mental health issues, then there may be evidence that the person was unable to consent.
If a person is threatening you or is coercing you into sex, this is rape.
Rape reporting is increasing and is expected to increase for the foreseeable future. The police encourage reporting and will take all positive steps to investigate the complaint. Offences that have occurred within relationships are difficult to investigate and prosecute, as often the evidence is limited to one person’s word against another. This however should not discourage any victim from coming forward.
What if I don’t want to involve the police?
The nature of domestic abuse often means that the abuse happens in secret and may escalate over time. Many people are hesitant to call the police, but the advice is always to call them, particularly in an emergency, if you feel unsafe, threatened or harassed. There are specialist domestic abuse police officers trained to support victims and to manage their safety and they will ensure that your safety is their priority. If at all possible, tell someone, and there will be services to help you wherever you live. Nationally, you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247
I’m scared that if I report domestic abuse, my children will be taken away from me
This is a common threat used by perpetrators to make the parent feel fearful and to encourage them to remain within an abusive relationship. Social workers understand the challenges of leaving an abusive relationship and can support you throughout. It is very uncommon for children to be removed from a non-abusive parent and reporting domestic abuse will not always mean that social workers will automatically become involved.
IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND ARE IN IMMEDIATE DANGER DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL THE POLICE ON 999
ORGANISATIONS
Womens Aid
For women and children - We are a grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated.
Broken Rainbows
Gay, lesbian, bi and trans - Our National Helpline provides confidential support to all members of the LGBT communities, their family, friends, and agencies supporting them. The helpline is run by trained LGBT people and provides a space where you can talk through what is going on, and explore your options.
Refuge
For women and children - At Refuge, we believe that no-one should have to live in fear of violence and abuse. On any given day Refuge supports more than 6,000 clients, helping them rebuild their lives and overcome many different forms of violence and abuse.
White Ribbon
Men speaking out against violence - We work to end male violence against women by engaging with men and boys, raising awareness, influencing change and providing resources to make change happen.
National Centre for Domestic Violence
For all victims of domestic violence - The National Centre for Domestic Violence was established in 2003 to help survivors of domestic violence and abuse obtain protection against an abuser, as well as offering services to the police, probation service, domestic abuse agency workers, the legal profession and judiciary.
ManKind
For men - We provide direct help and support for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence. We run a helpline manned by trained team who provide practical information, signposting and emotional support on all aspects of domestic abuse.
For perpetrators
Respect
For male perpetrators - Respect is a domestic abuse organisation for work with perpetrators, male victims and young people’s violence in close relationships.
Safer Lives
For men - compassionate probation officers who specialised in working with men's harmful sexual behaviours.